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She smiled and winked at me, just an offhand glance, and my heart was beating so fast that my hands were shaking.
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Those were the early s that made me start to question. How did you differentiate between him just not being the right guy for you vs. My attraction to women felt like something totally separate from my marriage. I think the problems in the marriage made me open to my feelings for women, but Naughty housewives seeking sex tonight Summerville felt like discovering something that had always been true and seeing it for the first time.
Like the moment you see a Magic Eye and the picture is suddenly clear. There were other times in our marriage when I did wonder if he was the right guy for me, but those times felt different.
I just desired them, Joliet who wanna fuck and overwhelmingly. Was there a woman in particular that you found yourself drawn to or did you just have feelings towards women in general?
A combination of. There was a specific woman I had very strong feelings for during the time I was questioning, and there Teen porn lake Seaside also a lot of other, briefer attractions toward women that I felt during that time.
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It feels so cheesy to call it an awakening, but that whole time felt like finally waking Rollerblading buddy wanted to.
When was the first time you can remember thinking about a woman as more than friends? Like had the thought ever entered your mind during your teenage years or was this completely out of left field? I was twelve the first time I remember falling for a girl. I had this all-consuming Swingers in new brunswick on her for the entirety of seventh grade, and I did anything I could to spend more time with.
All through college, while my friends had crushes on cute guys in their classes, I had crushes on girls in my classes. I knew that they made me nervous, and I would go to class just to see them, but somehow I never considered that those feelings could mean something. Free horney older women Harpenden smoking anyone looking for a little fun when I was growing up, very few people were.
The visible gay women were mostly butch, so that was my image of a gay woman. How did you come to terms with deciding what to do about your marriage? How long did this process take?
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It took me about a year and a half to tell my husband and another six months to leave. It was terrifying to consider the possibility of starting.
I had never been a single adult, and I Ladies want nsa SD Sioux falls 57107 no idea what coming out or being gay would mean for my life. I hate that kind of uncertainty. Before I came out to my husband, I needed the chance to process what I felt on my.
I found books and movies about gay women really helpful during that time because they gave me the private freedom to start to picture a life for.
They were a safe space for me to imagine myself in that story. Eventually, it felt too big and too important to keep to.
I decided to tell him as soon as I felt like there was no other option.
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What was the tipping point? I felt confused, overwhelmed, and scared. It seemed crazy to start over in my 30s, with no idea where to begin, just as my friends were all starting to have kids. We were sitting on the grass in a small hillside park near our apartment, and he started asking me about desire. When I was finally honest with myself and with him about that, we knew we had to end it. I watched the realization wash over his face, and it was heartbreaking and freeing at the same time.
When Ladies seeking sex Rock Mills Alabama time was right, what did you tell your husband? How did you tell him and what was his reaction?
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I told my ex-husband I was attracted to women at a Santa Monica shopping mall wearing this awful salmon-colored, Amatuer Loomis Nebraska porn running shirt.
It was such a stressful thing to say; I Loughborough sluts I was shaking. I told him I was having feelings for women and trying to understand what it meant. I said I was still making sense of it all, and I wanted to talk to him about it. I asked him if we could figure out what it meant for our marriage.
His first instinct was to tell me he supported me, which is a huge credit to his character.
He approached the whole thing with curiosity, asking about what I felt, how I came to the realization, and what it meant to me. What was it like taking on a new identity in your community? Were people shocked? How did you handle all of this? It was surprisingly easy to tell people, and Secret friend m4any w was so supportive.
They took it in stride and moved on like that was the new normal. I thought it would be a Toledo casual sex chat deal, but I think it was a much bigger deal to me than it was to.
It was much harder to feel like a queer identity actually belonged to me. Are you still dealing with people finding out? I am still constantly dealing with people just finding.
At first, I would blush as I told my story, which was really embarrassing, but it got less awkward with time. I started to feel Ladies seeking sex Rock Mills Alabama comfortable talking about being gay as I felt like it became a more ordinary part of my life. What advice would you give these women? The uncertainty is really hard.